WTH XED!?!?!?! That dog looks like one of my dogs! Now I know why the dog follows me around when I'm walking around the house!!!!

Actually when I was in Junior High there was this guy named Jeff Allen (I have no qualms about giving up his name because he's a......well he's really disgusting and weird). So yeah he was in my PE class. My friend and I would make fun of him all the time because he was constantly talking about his online girlfriend from halfway across the country...who was probably some fat old man anyway.

SO! One day he, for some reason, mentions that his "girlfriend" seems to "like" her dogs in "special" ways. So of course all the guys made fun of him for having a disgusting girlfriend. Well he was the kind of guy who would MAKE SURE to find out your online names and stuff so he could find you online on MSN Messenger or something. Well he starts talking to me online one night and makes me swear up and down I won't tell anyone if he tells me something. I say ok. So he says, "You know how I said my girlfriend likes to mess around with her dog?" I say, Yeah. So he says, "Well I like to do that too." He then proceeeds to tell me it was a male dog and he liked to use his mouth on.....areas.

Of course we're like 14 so it's the WRONG time in life to be saying things like this, so I HAD to tell everyone. The last time I talked to him online (a couple years ago, like 2 or 3) he shows me a picture of a dog boner. And despite his love of dog penis, he tries to make fun of ME and call me gay....which I'm not anyway.

And as for the cows guy, I have this to say.

*VOMITS*

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