I must admit Rodriguez is a strange one. He makes some awesome adult oriented films but his kids movies look like they're all terrible schlock! Why does he do that?


Nepotism. He casts a lot of his own family members within his own movies.
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Even Danny Trejo is one of his relatives.

Charlie Sheen? count me in if hes gonna act like his usual self.


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WINNING! Y AM I TEH PREZIDENT OF THY U-KNIGHT-ED STATES?
It's because WINNING IS WHAT I DO. WINNING!
I WIN HERE & WIN THERE. NOW WHAT? I'M NOT DONE WINNING.


I forgot that he's not actually a Mexican. He's like me, a Spaniard but he's mixed with Irish, Scottish & Jew. I'm Spick Frenchie Gook(Jap, Chink, Flip) & Jew, but to the average American, I'm from Mexico. LOL!
A place that I never been to. I don't need to. We'll (help out &) simply recreate Mexico within the United States, lol. I only do so coz I too am a winner and I don't like losers calling me things that I'm not.

That's exactly what I thought too! I've never seen Crank although it's on my list of movies to see.

How could you have never seen Crank? It has the best fucking ending evar!
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It feels like you're watching someone playing Grand Theft Auto but instead of doing missions they did nothing but running around & rampaging through the city.
The Crank movies come the closest to what playing a video game feels like. Crank 2 even starts off with some NES retro prank of Statham losing all his lives while he's falling from a plane.

It's really too bad that Western game design is trying to get rid of the insanity & lack of real life logic that characterizes what a videogame is in favor of some easy as fuck games that try to mimic a bad F rated Scy Fi movie, lol. (MASS EFFECT 3)

I wish that there was a Crank 3. I was on the floor laughing at Crank 2 because a bunch of limp dick Asian Americans were crying about the negative portrayal of Asians as gangsters & whores within the film.
I'm like what the fuck is your problem bitches! First you complain when asians are portrayed as doctors & scientists, then you get mad when you're portrayed as low lives?
Y'all aren't really Asian. You're American. My teen years were spent in East Asia and I can say with all certainty that East Asia really is full of whores & mobsters.
Last I recall, the asians in Crank 2 weren't meant to be American.
Thank god for that. Asian Americans are Americanized slothful scum and I say that as an American who often gets mistaken for an immigrant even though I have a very thick American accent, lol.
(Most Asian immigrants can't understand my English at all due to my American gangster accent.)
It makes sense though, I actually act like an Asian from the North East. I'm very strict & traditionalist. Most Asian Americans are liberal progressive pussies.



Speaking seriously, I do hope this sequel is an improvement over the first one. The first one was entertaining but not b-movie material; most of the movie was jokes about inmigrants with some ocassional, tame and short action scenes; Only at the final showdown the movie goes insane.

Crank High Voltage was a true exploitation movie, Machete was tame in comparison


I've said as much in a review that I wrote awhile back about the Faculty.
That's actually RR's only true B movie film.
His other stuff like Planet Terror & Machete look way too polished.

http://www.paradisehotel51.com/Reviews/TopDrunkee/faculty.htm
You know for some reason I just can't ever get into Quentin Tarantino's films I love QT's dialogue, and I love his passion for film but I just can't get into his films because they always seem to be trying too hard to come off as artistic.
His partner in crime Robert Rodriquez isn't exempt from that of course. Since he did make the artfag's dream (Pretty visuals to mask what little substance the film may have.) SIN CITY. A film that many of whom (Retards mostly AKA mainstream fuckfaces who don't know dick about shit even if you shoved it down their mouth.) consider as Robert Rodriquez's masterpiece.

Fucking dumb assholes I say. What about From Dusk Till Dawn? What about Desperado? Oh yeah that's right artfag's + film snobs can't stand trashy exploitation & 80's zombie/vampire film throwbacks because it supposedly doesn't give their minds thy exercise that their brains so desire.
Quite comical actually considering that SIN CITY was pretty damn juvenile once you look past the unique visuals. Even Bruce Willis' original Diehard
had much deeper commentary than RR's supposed magnum opus.

So what exactly am I getting at? I'm a fan of RR not because his films are brilliant masterpieces of art or what ever gay ass film snobbery you wish to dish out in attempt to come off as some highly intellectual mind of much higher stature than even Mount Olympus.
Hell nah, I love RR film's because every single one of them has hot bitches, & dark comedy. Every single one. RR has one crazy ass fucked up mind and I love his films for it. Well I don't know about Spy Kids but I wouldn't be surprised if those films had hot chicks too. I mean come on, Machete is in Spy Kids.

Robert Rodriguez's films are filled to the brim with so much creativity, dark comedy & style that no matter how bad a RR film may be.
You can best damn be guaranteed that I'll probably love it as much as all you asstards love stroking Christopher Nolan's dick coz his films make plebeians feel much brighter than you actually are, HAHA HAHAAH AHAHAH.

Which leads I to the film of the day. RR's The Faculty.
A stupid ass teen slasher film written by the same fuckface who wrote Scream & Scream 2 and probably the other Screams as well. I don't know. I don't give a fuck.
What I am sure of is that The Faculty wouldn't be anywhere near as campy fun without RR at the helm to direct this little guilty pleasure. The film is about parasitic aliens taking over the bodies of a school in Ohio and blah blah blah, if you already seen one of the many remakes of the "Bodysnatchers" or John Carpenter's fucktablous "The Thing" then you already know the basic set up for The Faculty. Just replace all the ugly old dudes with hot jail bait bitches as the protaganists. (Who are in their 30's as of today so Hey, They legal, they legal.)


Note, Chris Nolan is fucking awesome and I can't wait to see Dark Knight Rises on dvd. (FUck I ain't going to a theater, lol.) I just hate his fans.
It's the Hideo Kojima effect. Good shit but the fans stink up the place.

Machete 2 is most likely going to be political again (Charlie Sheen is El Presidente, LOL! WINNING!!) but at least Robert Rodriquez actually has a very solid comprehension as to what passes for American politics. He doesn't pick either side. He thinks that the Left & the Right are both a joke.

Topdrunkee wrote:

Speaking of which I don't understand why everybody is deriding the politics in Machete. I was expecting typical simplified leftist bullshit like Avatar.
No instead what we got is a pretty well informed view of what the relations between United States and Mexico actually is like.
Basically the Mexican drug cartels are in cahoots with the American government. (Expendables also did the same exact thing. Difference is Stallone views the CIA as the bigger threat and the Mexicans as completely incompetent. Rodriquez portrays the cartels & certain officials within the American government as equally corrupt.)
What Fahey's character wanted is to build a berlin like wall between the borders of Mexico & the USA. Not because he wants to keep illegals out.
He simply wanted to control the supply & demand of drugs in order to maximize profits. Which is true. That's exactly how shit runs in real life. I don't see how the fuck this movie could be considered Marxist trash. That's as capitalist as it fucking gets.
Then again Expendables which is a throwback to Reagan era action films is also considered leftwing trash by some individuals simply because the main bad guys are the CIA.

I'm shocked by Robert, I had no idea that he was this self aware about the politics of the USA. It fucking cracks me up how everybody is calling this movie anti American when in reality RR is portraying everybody as a piece of trash.



Topdrunkee wrote:

George Carlin was right about this cuntry. We're not the United States of America.
We're the United Wanks of America. If you say or do anything that doesn't portray the USA in a positive light you're automatically labeled as Liberal commie nigger jew Socialist Marxist revisionist.
What's sad is that Machete has one of the more realistic depictions of America that I've seen caught on film.
This is one of the only movies out there that shows you what America actually looks like. A multicultural hell hole.
This movie is not Anti White. It's not even pro Mexican.
RR is simply doing what any true artist does.
He holds the mirror of society straight to your fucking face and is unapologetic about the ugliness of your reflection.


What I noticed is the way I describe Robert Rodriquez is the same way everyone describes Suda 51.
Unfortunately Suda 51's attempts at grind noir, exploitation all suck ass.
RR's films are actually technical masterpieces when you take into account the budget that he had to work with.
Suda 51's games are cheapo bin bullshit that are sold at full price. Most of his games look & play like they belong on the PS2.

I also can't stand Suda 51's fascination or glorification of generic skinny ass Blonde Haired, blue eye White girls. Part of the mystique of Robert Rodriguez's films is that his movies are often cast with some of the most exotic looking women that you've ever seen.
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Russian Jew Mila Kunis Has never been in a RR movie but she has the exact look that most RR women have.